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What I didn’t expect, however, was the doctor’s first question

April 9, 2013

5 Things Nobody Tells You About Quitting Drinking

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As your body works overtime to rid itself of toxins, leftover alcohol and its byproducts that are stored Replica Handbags in your lymph nodes will begin to seep out through not only your urine, but also your breath and the pores of your skin.

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purse replica handbags The stench isn’t the end of the world (even if it smells exactly like how you imagine the apocalypse smelling). No, it’s the insomnia that’s the first major ass kicker. purse replica handbags

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The fun, and the mind bending hallucinations.

That’s when Designer Replica Bags you Replica Handbags get some of the most frequent and realistic nightmares you’ve ever experienced. Fake Designer Bags Intense feelings of dread and anxiety thump through your sleeping mind, as if the stench demon decided to drift into your cerebral cortex.

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When you stop Fake Designer Bags drinking, you subtract from the body all of those thousands of liquid calories, but now you’re hungrier, so you eat to replace them. But a system used to digesting gallons of beer suddenly has pounds of meat and cheese to work on. It’d be like if a normal person spontaneously decided to spend a purse replica handbags week slowly eating an entire moose.

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Replica Designer Handbags You have to kind of twist on the seat. Replica Designer Handbags

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Designer Replica Bags The smallest things would irritate me into a full blown rage. Little annoyances, like the person who was sitting at the same picnic table as me who wouldn’t stop tapping his leg up and down, shaking the whole Replica Bags Wholesale contraption. I wanted get a gun Fake Handbags and murder him and all of the other people in the world who had failed to murder him up to that point. Designer Replica Bags

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Fake Handbags Well, I would have, if it hadn’t turned out that most of my friends were in fact just drinking partners. When I told them I was quitting, they’d sort of nervously laugh, waiting for the punch line. Then, they’d respond with a genuinely surprised, “Really? Why?” Then they’d reassure me that I didn’t have a drinking problem (because if I had a drinking problem, it meant they had a drinking problem). Fake Handbags

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But in the mean time, rainbows will shoot out of your ass, and it will feel like the final scenes of Independence Day. You’ve overcome your addictions! The alien ships have been destroyed! You just did what they all said you high quality replica handbags couldn’t do!

Except you haven’t. There is no finish line with alcohol recovery. Replica Designer Handbags Ninety percent of alcoholics relapse within the first four years. There are still shitloads of ships up there, and each one of them requires Randy Quaid to improbably fly into it at the exact moment it attacks with its giant laser beam.

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Wholesale Replica Bags It’s hard for people to understand why I can’t just downgrade from “alcoholic” to “moderate drinker.” There are plenty of people out there who can drink in moderation. They can down a couple with their friends, shit on the hood of a cop car, go to sleep and forget all about booze the next day. I’m not one of them. Neither was my dad, who died at age 49 from this shit Wholesale Replica Bags.

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